I am not your valentine

If you know how much, you are hurting me,

you would not be, doing this to me…

The sun is out, but you are gone,

the logic is dead, my heart’s alone…

I need to cry, but my eyes are dry,

my heart beats fine, but there’s pain inside…

I try to smile, I try to hide,

But I’m not, your valentine.

One hundred, two hundred

Sri Lankans witness their first highway, and yes we are still in the 21st century! To be fair for a neutral and curious observer, it’s not the ideal highway you see in Europe or Far East. But it still is called a highway and for the name’s sake, we decided to pay a visit.

I and my friend left with the remainders of our foot bicycles to witness the wonder of Asia through not so wonderful normal roads. After about 20 minutes of one hell of a ride, we saw a new road to our right.

It was a single track lane that we have never witnessed in Sri Lanka. There was no entrance like the stuff we had seen on the TV and people (and dogs) were just walking here and there. It was not the highway that we dreamt of. We decided to ask a lady who just looked as she was about to die where the Highway is.

”You are on it”, was her chaotic response.

“WTF”, I asked myself. “How come the Southern express operate if it has only one track and monitors (lizards) crossing the road whenever they want?” But looking at the way the country is surviving, that was not as idiotic as it sounded and we started riding our bikes happily, yelling that we are on the highway.

We rode fast as we felt that we should set an example to the people who will be using this road in a week and were breathing our lungs out when we reached Pinnaduwa entrance.

That lady was a puppet of a road instructor. We have been riding our bikes like our lives depended on how fast we could ride on the highway entrance road, which is just another road in Sri Lanka.

We could never make it to the highway. The authorities said you need a special pass to enter the highway on vehicles and we obviously did not have. We could keep the bikes somewhere and go there by foot but I preferred the safety of my bike over walking on a highway built for vehicles.

The highway has brought death sentence for many creatures on the lands surrounding the new road. The road we were travelling has been built on a mountain and water springs were visible on the walls of the destroyed mountains. The environmental system has changed a lot and we are yet to see how it will backfire.

After a pointless ride, we came back to Magalla, where the highway entrance started, and drove through the A2 until we saw a group fisherman pulling their fishing net out of the sea. We had money to buy about one third of a sprat but yet it was worth watching and we got to the beach. A group of customers were already there and were bargaining. Fish were just thrown on the beach and small fish were still alive.

I wore a white track shirt and a white short and had two white wrist bands on my hand. It was not much of a surprise that one drunken fisherman thought I was a foreigner.

“No luck today” he said in his own version of English. “Five hundred gone. One hundred, two hundred got. Bad. want fish?” he questioned me. And to make the incident funnier, he was telling the exact thing to my friend in Sinhala. He was drunk so much that he did not notice I was answering him in Sinhala!

From the outside, this looks as a laugh and forget sort of thing, But it is not so simple. People think it is a sin to be a part of the group who pulls the fishing net out of the sea because so many fish are killed. To get their mind off that feeling, they drink so much to the point that they do not remember who they are. The end result is spending five hundred rupees on arrack to earn two hundred rupees. This is a very delicate issue. A lot of people who could afford fish in the country eat them and I can’t see why they are not a part of the so called sin as well. They kill fish to feed your tummies and the society has made them think they are doing something wrong. This in turn has been the root for many problems among the fishing families.

It just adds to the point I have continuously tried to prove. A religion can kill a country. If the society wants to be so religious, give up eating fish completely and then maybe fisherman will find some useful thing to do. If you want their help, do not consider them as sinners. Treat them as human, just like you treat your neighbour.

The life will change in down south. Let’s hope such attitudes of people will change before the country becomes a worthless place to live.

Enchanted Strings

Okay, one month more, still I am listening to Broken angel.Computer is down and being an eighteen and a half year old is not the easiest thing in the world.

The exam has taken us closer to damned. People are happy when I get a sum wrong  and they look desperate when I smile.

I never thought for one mad second that I’d wish my school days would elongate. Three years ago, schooling was bullshit. But now, a part of myself will be left with my alma matar when I leave her in two months.

Life has this bad habit of coming up with what we hate the most, the reality.

We build worlds of our own when we sleep. But alas, 5.30am and you got to study why red has the lowest refractive index in the spectrum. Certainly why should we care about what has the lowest refractive index?

Students do stupid things when the exam is closer, me included. I might steal someone’s slipper. I might shout like mad at our Maths teacher. But you can be quite sure I wont be wearing those enchanted strings around my hand, or ropes.

I can’t see how a piece of string can help us get better marks in a competitive exam, its as simple as that. I don’t have faith in a greedy monk or an unseen so called god telling me I will definitely pass the exam, coz they do not face it, I do. Where is this damn god when it hurts? People are dying in Libya. Haiti has been flattened and Japan devastated. And why should I believe there is a god in this world? Its just the probability.

Anyway I’m not a fool to not understand why a girl wears a string around her hand when the exam is near. The heart can be betrayed easily. You are just trying to say to your heart “All izz well, I’ve got the almighty enchanted string”. Well that was what Aamir Khan was doing. For you it might be good to wear it, but I prefer Aamir’s way of lying to my heart.

Just to make it clear, everyone has the right to wear whatever you want, but yet the signs are not good.

Religion is killing our country. Or to be more precise, people are using our great philosophy as a religion to kill Sri Lanka.

People in the sky

It is fifteen minutes to ten and I am here, sitting on a public chair at the cancer hospital in Maharagama. It is becoming a bit boring and thus I decided to pay some respect to Anne frank’s thought: writings have more patience than the humans.

The man is a fascinating creature for one simple reason. He is a social being. Almost all other animals have their destiny written in their genes. An animal knows when it should start to walk, find their partner, reproduce and other important processes as such. But humans are a lot different. They grow with the experience they get from the world. This makes the human the most intelligent animal in the planet because he knows what he is doing.

But the thing I cannot understand is why people depend so much on the people in the sky. It is always good to have faith but the idea of letting someone else control our own lives is simply ridiculous.

As far as I know, Buddhism is not a religion but a philosophy. Religion is where we have faith in god but a philosophy is where we have faith in the truth. I am not trying to say that the theory of the people in  heaven is wrong because I have no knowledge on the subject but I have enough common sense to tell that we are living in the twenty first century, that is about five hundred years after the middle ages and still we believe in the myth of having unseen people do our stuff.

The quotation “history will prove me correct” applies to this case too. It was the humanist revolution which gave the human the right place in the world. We are not made to be slaves of our destiny. We all are human, having same blood running through our veins. And after five hundred years it is sad to mention that we all have forgotten this lesson that history have taught us. We are the world my dear friends, do not let anyone take control of yourself, not even the god because what you are today is due to what you have done yesterday.

Do not let the effort of lord Buddha and several thousand people including Martin Luther and Erasmus died during the renaissance be in vain. Prove that the man is more important than the god. Prove the power of humanism.

Of course the concept of gods is not to be under estimated, but there is no way to pass your examination or interview by pleading the god as no matter how talented you are, it will be self belief which will make you a better human.

Most of the Sri Lankans are Buddhists and I cannot understand why there are more pilgrims at Katharagama than Kirivehera. Lord Buddha has clearly instructed us what to do. In fact he was the founder of humanism. So why should we believe in some god or magician when we have such a noble philosophy?

And please note that in the period of Polonnaruwa, Hinduism and Buddhism mixed. That probably is the reason why there are gods in Buddhist concepts and literature. But still the heart of Buddhism is alive. Lord Buddha will never die till there are pure Buddhists in the world, which is people who believe in truth, not in magicians. And for the people who say that there are stories of god all over our Buddhist literature, what I have got to say is that Buddhism and Buddhist literature are two completely different things. Literature will guide you to Buddhist concepts, not vice Versa.

We all are same, all over the world. It was in Europe where science cherished, and they were clever enough to adapt according to the world. Christians have faith in Jesus which is the right thing to do. They get advice from the church and pope which is very good. But they do not beg the god to let them achieve the milestones in their lives. But we Sri Lankans have taken some invisible gods into our lives and it looks so stupid that we have allowed them to control our lives.

And it will be not good to floccinaucinihiliphilificate the other threat to humanism, which in fact is the biggest threat as I feel. That is discrimination among the humans their selves. This was why Michael Jackson had to bleach his skin. That was why he was kicked on his backside when he was five years old, when he found that he has the greatest voice of America. That was why nelson Mandela had to spend years and years in prison. And probably that is why ICC does not give Sri Lankan test side more than two test matches in a foreign series. World will boast that the colour discrimination is over but it is still happening under our nose.

On this aspect Sri Lankans look more civilized as we have understood we are all Sri Lankans. There is a trace of cast discrimination but that is negligible.

During the recent presidential election in USA I was quite shocked to see nearly all the friends in Facebook who had an interest in USA presidential election were supporters of Barak Hussein Obama. He is a very special person. But I feel he is special due to two main reasons. First is ethnicity and second is religion. More than fifty percent of my friends who supported him simply did so as he is a black American.

There is a third crisis too. That is economic imperialism. For this there is no proper solution. Some might say it is capitalism and some might say it is Socialism. But I feel these two should be combined because being extremist is not acceptable.

Having said that, I should admit I am not a fan of Capitalism at all. I am not a street child but I am neither the son of Queen Elizabeth. I am not someone who has faced the struggle to survive, but I’ve seen people who are at the bottom of the pyramid. The whole system sucks. And one day, when we get older, we will be stronger!!

You do not have to be a lawyer or a politician to speak about politics, because half of the politicians in our country have not achieved what we have achieved. Yes its true that you don’t have to be good at books to serve your country, but then what is the point of education? Parliament is not a place for people with mental sickness or sickel cell anemia or short sightedness.

The problem with many, specially here in Sri Lanka is the fact that they are afraid of the word “revolution”. It means certain death for some. So they are afraid to even think of anything related to Socialism, I’ll tell you something.

After you finish the exam, read the Soviet novels. Its not that I am trying to make you think like a rebel, I am just trying to add some warmth to your souls, just trying to make the world a better place.

All of us know that “Mother” by Maxim Gorkey is a masterpiece of literature. Have you ever dared to read it?

What do you think it is about?

For people who think it is about someone’s mother who lived in a village in a certain state in Siberia and fought hard to live  and did everything to keep her son alive and died without the care of her own son somewhere in the streets of Moscow, well WAKE UP. Its true it is about a mother, but its about a mother who fought against the system, a mother who smiled when all others cried, its about a mother who took part in the big thing, the Bolshevik revolution.

And after all these comments about Russia in 1920s, I know it won’t work here in Sri Lanka. First reason is we do not love our country. Yes it hurts but it is the truth. Just read any Soviet book and you will understand what Patriotism is all about. Its not about  throwing firecrackers at your neighbours house when the Army has won the battle of Thoppigala, its about riding an aeroplane alone without both your legs, its about killing your pet to feed a dying soldier .

The second reason is we all want to be better than the person next to us. That attitude and Socialism don’t go hand in hand.

We should combine both extremes and build a system like China and Malasiya did.

So my friends. this is for you. I am getting a bit tired, typing this long note with the phone. This is my view on our lives. Your’s maybe different. If they are, please let me know.

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